serious vanity

Saturday, November 19

you called her, shouted her name. then when she looked at you, you just stood there, smiled at her... stood there again, and then backed away...

it lasted for a minute... it's the other way around.. you got tensed, you froze. you actually want to grab at her, hug her. but you did otherwise. you just stood there, just let her slip away. again.. you just let her walked past your way...

now tell me??? even if you say it's the other way around, you really didnt intend that to do, what good will it make? would it make any difference? it's already done...

how stupid could you be??

how stupid could i be???

posted by: brattyblue at 11/19/05 10:20 | link | comments |

Monday, November 14

The Signs....

Sleeping disorders... Tapos, sinusundan ko ang isang taong akala ko "s'ya"...

Takte.... Nabubuwang na ko!!!!!!

They say freak, when you're singled out... The Red, yeah.. it filters through.....

posted by: brattyblue at 11/14/05 18:42 | link | comments |

Saturday, November 05

Realization stage

Now i actually understand what and why are you like that.

You've chosen to be that way, feeling nothing. I perfectly understand what you're trying to say, i perfectly understand how you see things, deal with things and how you see me now and even before.

I thought, you know me. I was wrong.

The way i handled my life, the way i let out the anguish, hatred, pain inside me has nothing to do with you, was not asking for your sympathy nor asking for anything in return. was just human to let it all out.

So that i wont be in a major crash, "major breakdown".

I have all the reasons, why i'm feeling that way, u've known it.

Now, i realized, i've made a fool out of myself, taking the chance to fight for you. Pathetic as it may seem, i've done it. I've come to realize, you're the wrong person. Geez, why did it take me this long to realize it.

You were not looking for somebody to love you, nor looking for someone who's gonna be there to share your life with. If your thinking life is always that happy, then think again. You'll fully understand you're human if you feel sadness, pain, happiness, belongingness and love.

You're just looking for a phony relationship, pleasure all the time, plain sex and happiness. Dude, this is rude as it may seem but, that's what i analyze in you.

I respect your decisions and shortcomings. Yet again, dude, i am fully human, if you're expecting that ive change, yes, i did. but ive not thrown my emotions away. Cos if there's none, i wont be one.

I am having a great life too. I was just blinded by the thought that i have something for you. Was a fool to believe that you have the ability to understand things as the way i see it.

Yes, it is better to leave it this way. No connections, no communications. No nothing.

I dont wanna deal with a person who is closed minded as you are. No emotions at all. The way i see it, you're not that strong. I am, i've faced my fears.

You know my fear is? That's actually you. I've faced you. And i am strong enough to accept that i did and somehow still love you now, but im letting it slip away.

Life itself is complicated. Love is strong, yes it is. But it will make you do things that is too impossible as you may think. It is sacrifice, alright. But in the end, it will be worth.

I am your first one, You were my first. Funny, we never expected this to happen. Funny really. Just yesterday, i just cried for you. now, i'm regretting every single tears i've shed for you. Cos you were too coward to accept your emotions.

You chose to fall for your pride, rather fall for someone who's string enough to fight for you. This must end now.

Thanks for giving me the time talking to you today. It's really a big deal, cos you made me realize all of this.

I hope in time, you'll realize what im tryin to tell you now.

- facts -

- your say -

- bloggers -

- post -

-KACHING-

posted by: brattyblue at 11/19/05 10:20 | link | comments |

The Signs....

posted by: brattyblue at 11/14/05 18:42 | link | comments |

Realization stage

posted by: brattyblue at 11/05/05 20:07 | link | comments (1) |